7 weeks until the marathon

(Written on Saturday and posted on Sunday...)

Well, things are staying stubbornly in limbo between “Things have improved and I’m feeling confident that I’ll make it to the start line” and “Well, that’s it. I’m calling it off.”

Week before last went so poorly that I couldn’t even bring myself to write about it. I felt fantastic after that 16 miler. I was a bit sore on Sunday and Monday, but feeling ok. I biked to work Monday and felt a little pain in my knee, but nothing else.

Then I ran 8 miles Tuesday morning, and I had a really hard time. The humidity was brutal, and I had a lot of shin pain. I finished, but I was really hurting the rest of that day and into Wednesday. I spent most of Wednesday debating with myself about whether or not to go to speed training. Ultimately, I decided to do the workout, but do it at home instead of schlepping all the way up to the track.

I completed a warm up, 3 repeat miles, and a cool down, but I suffered for it. It wasn’t so much sharp pain as it was an overall inability to make my legs work. I was stiff and achy while running, and my legs were swollen and tired afterward. I went to bed that night feeling like I had blown it.

I biked on Thursday and took Friday off, hoping that I would be ok on Saturday. When Saturday came, I did put on my running clothes and lace up my shoes, but my instincts screamed at me not to run. So I didn’t. I geared up again on Sunday and actually set out that time, but I run/walked for only a mile before I turned back.

Things were looking bleak, but I figured missing a 10-miler was better than missing the following weekend’s 18-miler, so I tried to focus my attention forward. I biked to work on Monday, and wore my compression socks pretty much all day and night that day, trying to get the swelling down. Tuesday I ran 8 miles with the compression socks on, and while I was pleased to have finished that distance, I didn’t feel great afterward.

I got up on Wednesday to attempt a speed workout, ran about 10 steps, and stopped. I spent another day on the bench in my compression socks, wondering if I could really come back from this.

It was similar on Thursday. I was able to run 6 miles, but had pain in my shins afterward, all day. I continued to intermittently wear the compression socks. The pain was not terrible – I had definitely had worse – but I had a sinking feeling all day that it just wasn’t enough. I may have been somehow powering my way through a good number of my shorter training runs… but I felt that trying to run 18 miles on Saturday was just asking for a serious injury.

I was a hair’s breadth away from calling off my training. I just couldn’t see how I could miss another one of those big long runs and still keep going. But I exchanged some emails with a running friend who has shin problems similar to mine, and she informed me that she trains for marathons by running only 2-3 times a week: a long run, a speed workout, and as her schedule permits, a third run of 3-5 miles. In a nutshell, that means that I have been running roughly 10 miles more a week than I really have to.

I felt a bit more optimistic after that. I biked to work and back on Friday, still wearing the compression socks. Friday night, I sat thinking for a while, and decided on this plan: Tomorrow, I would run as far as felt safe, even if that meant only 3 miles or so. In the coming week, I would stick to 4 miles or so, every other day, and perhaps attempt 6 on Saturday or Sunday. Then the following week, I would start sticking to my friend’s plan: a speed workout, a short run, and a long run, never on consecutive days. If I can rehab my shins enough this week to feel confident going into 18 miles on September 4, I might still have a chance. It will mean having my last long run be 20 miles instead of 22, but there are a lot of plans that end at 20 miles so I think that’ll be ok.

I woke up this morning and procrastinated about going out running, because I didn’t want to go out and come back feeling defeated. Even though I had a revised plan that I thought had some hope for success, deep down I badly wanted to run 18 and feel like I was still on track. Ultimately, I ended up going out deliberately unprepared to run 18 miles (no gels, started too late, not hydrated well enough) so that I wouldn’t do anything stupid. I ended up doing the speed workout I missed on Wednesday, which I thought was a good compromise. I was able to push myself a little but still only do a total of 5 miles. Plus, I ended the week feeling like I only missed one workout, not two – even though the one I missed was the long run.

If that speed workout had gone by with no pain, I would be feeling pretty good right now. But, it didn’t. I felt some deep aching in my shins both during the run and after. I was able to run without the compression socks on, which is good, but I’m just not feeling so great. My shins hurt when I walk.

Bottom line: I’ve still got a decent chance of bouncing back to marathon readiness, but there’s also a decent chance that I won’t. I’m still in that annoying place of needing to remain optimistic but realistic.

Will this be worth it? If I make it to that start line, I think it will. The hardest part is that I know the closer the marathon gets, the more crushing it will be to not run. But I will not give up.

Come what may, it will be over in 7 more weeks.