11 weeks until the marathon

While I have not yet completely given up, things are not looking good.

The pain didn't go away by Tuesday. I ran 4 miles Tuesday morning, but by Tuesday afternoon, I knew I was in trouble.

Wednesday morning I started having pain while walking. My lower legs tend to swell up while I walk, giving me an uncomfortable, distended feeling below my knees after a while. Compression and ice help, but it keeps happening.

I did not try to run at all Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday. I did bike on Thursday without much of an issue, though I did have pain occasionally.

I tried to run today, but did not even get half a mile before I stopped and turned back. It only hurt a little at first, but got worse, and so I knew to keep going would be a bad idea.

I figure my best shot is to just wait until Tuesday, then pick the training schedule back up. If I am ok to run by then, I might have a shot.

I won't say that I am not devastated by this. I am. On Wednesday, the day I skipped my first workout, I cried on three separate occasions. It's incredibly frustrating and disappointing. I really believed I had gotten past this.

But, I have not quite given up yet. Here is a list of positives:

1) I really do believe I've made the best choices possible. If I do have to drop out of training, it won't be because of my own stupidity. I don't have any regrets about what I've done.

2) The shins do seem to be getting a bit better by microsteps. So there is a chance they will be ok by next week.

3) Even if this is the end of the line, I can walk away knowing that I can safely train for a half marathon. I ran for 9+ weeks, leading up to a 13 mile run, without injury. That alone is an improvement over last year.

While part of me says I should try to bike or something to keep my cardiovascular fitness up, a larger part says I should soak up every moment of leg rest that I can.

I'm trying to remain hopeful yet prepare myself for the worst. If anyone knows how to successfully do that... let me know.