26 Letters to Stephen: 6

Letter #6

September 15, 2013

Dear Stephen,

Well, things are looking better.

My ankle still hurts today, but it feels much better. It might be ok tomorrow. Everything might be ok.

I still owe you a real letter. I am sorry I have not been able to bring myself to write it. Parts of what I want to say continue to float through my mind, but I can’t seem to form the thoughts into anything coherent.

I know that I’m stressed.

I know that I miss you.

I know those things, but not much else.

Hang with me a while longer, Stephen. We will get through this together.

26 Letters to Stephen: 5

Letter #5

September 14, 2013

Dear Stephen,

I’m trying not to panic, but something bad happened today.

About 7 or 7.5 miles into my run, my ankle started to hurt. At first I thought that it might just need to crack, but rotating it did nothing to stop the pain.

When I started running again, the pain stopped for a little while, but then started again and never stopped. I’ve been done with the run for a couple of hours, and despite icing and wrapping, my ankle is aching even though I’m just sitting here.

This could be bad.

It’s possible that it will feel better tomorrow or at least by next Sunday, but I’m scared. It’s also possible that I’m down for the count. The worst part is that all I can do is wait and see.

It hurts to walk right now, so having this continue more that 24 hours would be really bad.

I’m not sure what else to say. Any magic you’ve got, go ahead and work it, ok?

More soon.

26 letters to Stephen: 4

Letter # 4: September 11, 2013

It has been a long time, Stephen. Far, far too long, and I am sorry.

I'm in the middle of week 14 of marathon training. For 12 weeks, things were going absolutely beautifully. Last week, a sinus infection threw a wrench in everything. This week, there have not yet been any disasters -- but there have been warning signs, and I am worried.

I'm going to tell you all about it, and soon. I promise. This weekend, I am going to write you a letter that is worth 10 letters. I promise.

But for right now, I just need to ask a favor.

Stay with me through these next couple of runs, will you? I am feeling whispers from my hips and knees that remind me of past injuries, and all I can think about is how quickly everything went to hell last time. I finished a 12-mile taper run, and suddenly my knee hurt like hell. Just like that. And it continued to hurt like hell until approximately 2 weeks after the race.

I survived. I even made it to the finish line and recovered without so much as a doctor visit. But it was so hard and I was so scared. Scared of quitting. Scared of hurting myself. Scared of having limited mobility. Scared of always wondering if I did the right thing.

I don't want to be scared like that again, especially since I will also be scared of failing you.

So stay with me. Keep my knees, hips, and feet functioning the right way for just a few more weeks. Keep me healthy, and I promise I'll do the rest.

I know it seems trivial to talk of this stuff as such a big deal, especially today. But it is a big deal, to me. So I'm just looking for help where I can get it.

You were always willing to give it.

I miss you.